Playing For Keeps
by Pinker Belle
Summary: Lily Evans. The girl of James Potter's dreams. Who just happens to be dating his exbest friend Sirius Black. When things fall apart for Lily and Sirius, Lily and James pretend to date. But what happens when fictional feelings become not so fictional?
1. James' Heartbreak

**I am such a bad person. I have 3 other stories, 2 of which that are not on this site that aren't finished. My reviewers (or lack there of) are going to hate me so much! But I just thought up this story out of the blue and I had to post it. Please review! **

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**Chapter One **

"It's disgusting," James Potter said, his handsome features twisted into a scowl. Remus Lupin, looked in the direction of his friend's gaze. His brown eyes settled on the two people making out heatedly in the corner.  
"If you don't like it don't watch," Remus replied going back to his book.  
"I'm like a deer in the head lights. I can't take my eyes off of them," James told him as he continued to watch his former best friend, Sirius Black, make out with the girl of his dreams, Lily Evans. James sighed, remembering that fateful day the week before.

_Flashback_

"Good night Sirius," Lily said and then gave him a chaste kiss on the lips. She turned around and headed to the girls dormitory swaying her hips.  
"What the hell was that?" Came James' angry voice from behind Sirius. Sirius spun around to face him. He smiled sheepishly and said,  
"Oh, me and Lily are kinda going out," James saw red when he heard this. James had been in love with Lily for six years and Sirius knew it and he still betrayed him.  
"What? You know how I feel about her! How could you do this to me?" James yelled.  
"I'm sorry mate, but I like her and apparently she likes me back so we're going out whether you like it or not," Sirius stated.  
"Fine! If thats the way you're going to be then you can just find a new best friend!" James spat and he stomped away, leaving Sirus bewildered and best friendless.

James came out of his reverie and was greeted by the sight of Sirius sliding his hand up Lily's shirt. James gagged and shut his eyes. 'I can't watch this anymore.' He thought, so he stood up and headed out of the Gryffindor common room.

**Later that evening in the Head's common room **

"So what's going on with you and James?" Lily asked. She had noticed the tension between the two. Sirius' expression hardened.  
"Let's not talk about James right now," Sirius said, kissing her softly on the lips.  
"How about we don't talk at all?" Lily said suggestively, taking his hand and leading him toward her bedroom. She locked the door and walked over to Sirius, swaying her hips slightly. She tilted her head upward for him to kiss her which he did, slowly and sweetly. He ran his hands down her sides, stopping at the hem of her tank top. They stopped kissing only long enough for Sirius to lift the shirt over her head and for Lily to do the same to him. When they were both topless, their mouthes came crashing back down on each other in a frenzy. Sirius felt Lily unbuttoning his pants and smiled into the kiss. He gasped in surprise when he felt her hands inside his boxers massaging his member. 'So much for little innocent Lily,' he thought. Lily removed her hands from inside his boxers and lay down on the bed pulling him on top of her. He put his hands under her back and unclasped her bra and tossed it to the other side of the bedroom and began to kiss the newly exposed skin.   
"I take it you've done this before," he whispered. Lily smirked.  
"Obviously," she replied, before removing his boxers. Sirius' hands found the elastic to Lily's panties and pulled them off of her painfully slowly.  
"Hurry up!" she growled impatiently.  
"Eager now, are we?" Sirius chuckled discarding her underwear on the side of the bed. "Now lets get down to business shall we?" he joked.

James came into the common room that evening with nothing to do. Despite Sirius' betrayal, James still missed him. Not that he would ever admit it. For lack of anything better to do, James plopped himself down on the crimson sofa and took out his books. 'I might as well get some homework done.' he thought. About ten minutes later, he heard soft sounds coming from Lily's room. James ignored them at first, but then they became louder and more frequent. Soon, curiousity got the best of him and he went and pressed his ear against her door.  
"Oh Sirius!" came Lily's voice, loud and clear. James backed away from the door with lightning speed. That was definitely something he did not need to hear. He closed up his books and left the dorm. He would return later but at that moment he needed time to clear his mind of what he had just heard.

James wandered around the hallways of Hogwarts aimlessly trying to clear his head of what he had just heard. It was surprisingly difficult. James had been in love with Lily since the day he first laid eyes on her. She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen in his life. Her long wavy red hair and sparkling emerald green eyes were what distinguished her from every other girl he'd ever known. But what bothered him is that Lily never even gave him the time of day. Before she and Sirius had begun dating, he would ask her out at least once every single day. Lily never once said yes. But she was never mean about it. She'd turn him down with a smile and say "Maybe another day James," and then she'd walk away. By doing this, Lily gave him hope. Maybe if he asked her enough she'd eventually say yes. But when Sirius, his best friend who knew of his love for Lily, began dating the girl of his dreams, that was what hurt the most.


	2. James' Chance

**Chapter Two**

The weeks went by and Lily and Sirius were still together, obviously as in love as ever. You would think that James would get over Lily, right? Wrong. Every day, James' love for Lily grew, and with it his jealousy. Lily was still absolutely clueless to the depth of James' feelings for her, Sirius however, was not. Sirius took the liberty of expressing his love for Lily very publicly. This made James even more furious than he already was at his ex-best friend. After six and a half years of longing for Lily Evans, James had finally accepted that she would never be his. He finally decided to give up on Lily. There was no hope for him. Or was there?

* * *

"I knew you couldn't commit!" Lily's voice rang through the Gryffindor common room.  
"Lily it wasn't what it looked like!" Sirius shouted.  
"Do you honestly expect me to believe you? You have a reputation you know. I thought you had changed! I thought I could put your reputation as a player behind us. But I obviously can't. All those times you said 'I love you' were fake"  
"Lily! How could you say that! Every single time I said that it was true! Lily I love you so much! Can't you understand?" Sirius pleaded.  
"No Sirius, I can't" Lily said, her eyes full of tears. She turned away from him. "Until you learn that you can only have me if you're willing to have me alone, we can't be together," and with that she left the common room. Obviously this was very public and most Gryffindors witnessed it, including James. He knew he should be upset for Lily and possibly even Sirius, for he looked geniunely upset, but he wasn't. He actually found himself glad that they had broken up. Now was his chance. Lily was on the rebound and he could be the one to console her. So on that note, James went on his search for Lily.

* * *

James didn't have to look far. He entered the heads common room and found Lily on the floor by the fireplace, sobbing uncontrollably. Without thinking, James went over to Lily and put his arms around her, and to his surprise she didn't push him away. She leaned into him and sobbed into his school robes. But James didn't mind. This was Lily Evans! James didn't know how long they stayed like that but it seemed to end too quickly. Lily sat up and wiped her tears. Her emerald green eyes were blood shot and puffy. Her face was red and tear streaked, but James still thought she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. "I hate him," she said bitterly. "I hate him, but I love him!" This hurt James but he tried not to show it. "I want him back but not until he can learn to commit. What do I do? It could be forever until he learns that!" Suddenly an idea struck James. "I could help you," he said softly, praying that she would go for it. Lily looked up at him with a puzzled frown.  
"How?" James quickly explained his idea to her, his hope faltering at her incredulous expression. "That is the dumbest idea I have ever heard!" Lily cried when he was finished. James' face fell but his hope was reignited at her addition to the sentence, "But it just might work. Now where would I get a guy dumb enough to go along with it?" she said sarcastically. James blushed crimson.  
"I'll do it," he said.

* * *

**I know it was short! I promise I will try to make the chapters longer! But right now I don't have a lot of time and I don't like to do my chapters in sections.**


	3. The Plan in Action

**Chapter Three**

"What?" Lily said, surprised.

"I'll do it Lily. For you. I hate seeing you upset. I care about you Lily, but all these years you hated me too much to realize it," James told her. Lily noticed a hint of bitterness in his voice as he said the last part.

"I never hated you James," Lily said softly.

"Really?" James asked her skeptically.

"I'm sorry if I ever gave you the impression that I did," as she told him this, she lightly placed a delicate white hand on his arm. This gesture sent tingles up James' spine. Lily had no idea how much that simple gesture aroused him. Lily removed her hand from his arm and said, "You do realize that if we go through with this, it will be no strings attached. No emotional attachments whatsoever, unless the possiblity of a friendship arises. Who knows? You might prove to be a good friend," she said smiling genially. "And also, we can't start until next week," James' face fell slightly but not enough for Lily to notice. The prospect of having to wait another whole week upset him. 'I've waited six years I can wait another seven days' James thought. "If we start too soon, it will be obvious that I'm only doing it to get Sirius back. Which is true, but they're not supposed to know that,"

* * *

The next week arrived much too slowly for James, but after what seemed like an eternity, come it did. Lily and James discussed the plan that Monday morning before leaving the Head's common room hand in hand. They climbed out of their portrait hole at the same time as Sirius and Remus. Lily glanced quickly at Sirius' shocked and jealous expression and smirked triumphantly. They walked down to the great hall and sat down in an isolated but conspicuous section of the Gryffindor table. They sat close to each other and James put his arm around her waist. 'Finally!' he thought, this was what he had been dreaming of for the past six years. They put their heads together and smiled. They spoke softly so no one would hear but so that it looked like they were whispering sweet nothings to each other.

"James, your hand is way too close to my ass," Lily whispered with a smile.

"Well if you want to make them think that we're actually going out you can't object to what I do," James said in the same manner. Lily pulled away quickly, but realizing her mistake she put her arms around his neck and brought her face closer to his.

"If your in this just so that you can take advantage of me you might as well back out now," Lily growled still smiling.

"Lily, I'm trying to help you and if you don't think I know what will make Sirius jealous who do you think will? I've only been his best friend for six years," James said seriously. Lily looked into his eyes and realized that he was right. She would have to listen to him. She looked over James' shoulder at Sirius' section. There were girls crowded around him, as he talked and flirted half heartedly, she saw him glance over at her and James every once in a while. Everytime she saw him look her way she did something affectionate to James such as kiss his ear or run her hands through his unruly black hair. James, in the meantime was enjoying every minute of it. The little affectionate kisses and touches. He knew that they were just a show but he enjoyed it just the same. He was finally in the arms of the girl of his dreams. The only thing that ruined it for him was the fact that she was using them to get to someone else. In Lily's opinion, the plan was going very well. At this rate, she would have Sirius back in no time. She knew she could have him back now if she wanted, but she also knew that in order to make him faithful, she had to make him suffer.

* * *

After breakfast, James walked Lily to her Ancient Runes class. She topped off her performance for the morning with a passionate kiss before she entered the class room. It caught James off guard. He was not expecting such a lustful kiss. It was arranged to be a chaste kiss on the lips and that was it. But leave it to Lily to add her own little spice to things. James didn't mind of course, it was actually a very pleasurable experience. One that he had been waiting for for a long time. He only wished that he knew it was coming so he could have been better prepared and able to savor that moment. However he was not but he was by no means disappointed.

When he started off in the direction of his class, he was stopped by Sirius. Somehow, James knew it was coming.

"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" Sirius explained, shoving him against the cold stone wall.

"Oh me and Lily are kind of going out," James mocked. Sirius shoved him against the wall again, harder.

"Don't mock me," Sirius growled. "You're only doing this to get back at me. You don't care about Lily like I do," James snorted.

"You're kidding right? You know how I feel about Lily. I've loved Lily since the first time I laid eyes on her. For you Lily is a one time thing. You only want her back because you refuse to be dumped,"

"You know that's not true. I care about Lily and I want her back because I love her. Why can't you just accept the fact that Lily loves me not you?"

"If Lily loved you so much wouldn't she be with you and not me?" James raised his eyebrow. Sirius shoved him against the wall once more and then released him. He had nothing to say to James' witty remark. However, Sirius still had the feeling that they were doing this to hurt him. But he could do nothing about it. He had to let it play out and see what the outcome was. It was out of his hands.

**I did my best to make this chapter longer. I could have made it longer but that would be giving away too much. this chapter was 1042 words. much better than last chapter only 634 words. R&R!**


	4. Emotions

**Chapter four**

"Um. Lily?" 'Operation Win Sirius Back', as Lily called it had been going on for almost a week.

"Hmm?" she answered, absently as she added a few finishing touches to her Potions essay.

"Do you wanna maybe go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?" Lily looked up.

"James! Thats perfect! Why didn't I think of that?" James frowned, confused.

"What?" he asked.

"We could go to Hogsmeade together! That's the perfect thing to make Sirius jealous!" This answer stung James. He had been so close to going on a real date with Lily Evans and she had shot him down again. This time without even realizing it. "And we can go to Madame Puddifoot's and...James are you alright?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, fine," Lily raised her eyebrows.

"Oh, you were really asking me weren't you?" James' face flooded with color as he nodded.

"I thought that we went over this already. This relationship is no strings attached. No emotions other than friendship. Which we have acquired already," Lily said the last part with a smile. James looked away and nodded.

"It was worth a shot," he muttered. He stood up and Lily watched as he disappeared into his room. She felt a pang of-regret? Did she wish she had given him another answer? No of course not. They were just friends. Nothing is ever going to happen between them. And anyway, she was in love with Sirius. Lily told herself all of these things. Once she had convinced herself that she wanted Sirius and no one else, she went upstairs to bed.

* * *

Lily shot up in bed breathing hard. 'What the hell?' she thought. Her dreams were filled with naughty thoughts of her and James. Together. 'I thought I had already been through this, I don't like James as more than just a friend!' she scolded herself, trying to force herself to believe that it was true. She looked over at the clock, 5:30 am it read. She climbed out of her four poster bed and trudged to the bathroom. 'Well since I'm up I might as well get dressed. And since I have so much time, I can look especially nice for Ja-Sirius.' Lily smacked herself for thinking James' name before Sirius. What was wrong with her? 'Seeing Sirius' face should make things right,' she thought as she turned on the hot water.

When she emerged from the shower, it was 6:15 and she heard noises coming from James' room signaling that he was awake. Lily got dressed and performed a drying spell on her hair. She had an extra forty five minutes so she decided to straighten it. She hadn't done it in a long time. She pulled her straightener out of the bottom of her trunk and plugged it in. She didn't like what the straightening spell did to her hair so she preferred to use the muggle appliance. She picked up the straightener and clamped it over her curly auburn locks. Twenty minutes later, her long hair was pin straight. She tossed it over her shoulder as she examined herself in the mirror. She opened her bedroom door when she heard James calling her name. She opened the door.

"Hey are you-whoa!" James' eyes widened when he saw her appearance.

"You like?" she asked. James nodded goofily as she grabbed his hand and pulled him from the dormitory. On the way down to the Great Hall, Lily got a lot of stares. Mostly from the male population of Hogwarts. One pair of these eyes included Sirius'. He watched as they took their usual seats at the end of the table. James looked around and noticed all the stares Lily was getting.

"Take a picture it will last longer!" He shouted, causing many eyes to turn away. But one pair remained fixated on the "couple" as they always were.

"Thanks, they were starting to scare me," Lily said.

"No problem. Anything for you," Lily blushed and hoped that James hadn't noticed. He hadn't.

* * *

The next weekend was a Hogsmeade weekend as James had mentioned earlier in the week. Lily and James went together. But to James' dismay, it was only part of 'Operation Win Sirius Back'. The two walked hand in hand through the small wizarding village admiring little shops and going into some of them, just as a couple would. They did many of the things that Lily had suggested but James blatantly refused to go into Madame Puddifoot's. He had been in there once with some random girl and he vowed never to do it again. When Lily asked him why he told her it was too "pink". Lily laughed at this and they went into the three-broomsticks instead.

**A pretty pointless chapter. A few feelings revealed. Longer than most, yay! **


	5. Lily's confusion

**Chapter Five**

The days passed and Lily found herself becoming more and more attracted to James. She couldn't understand it. This wasn't supposed to happen. She came up with a solution. She had to stay away from James for awhile. But how was she supposed to do that? Its pretty difficult to avoid someone who you are supposedly dating , who is in most of your classes and lives in your dormitory. So how was this going to work? She pondered this thought for awhile and she finally came up with a plan. She would pretend to be sick and stay in her room for a few days until she was 'better'. She took the liberty of putting her plan into action the next morning. Tuesday morning James knocked on her bedroom door so they could go down to breakfast. Lily had performed a charm on herself to appear sick. So when she opened the door to her bedroom, her nose was red and her eyes were squinty. "I'm sick," she told him with a fake sneeze. James appeared concerned. "I'm just going to rest for a few days and I'll be better in no time." James was reluctant to go and it took a lot of persisting on Lily's part to convince him to leave her alone. Once he was finally gone, Lily sighed in relief. 'This plan is fool proof. A few days away from him should wash all of these unwanted feelings away. Three days to think about Sirius and Sirius alone should be perfect,' She thought with satisfaction. What could go wrong?

Two days passed and her fool proof plan didn't seem so fool proof. Instead of thinking of Sirius, she found herself thinking of James. He was constantly in her thoughts. She did everything she could think of to push him out of her mind. She listened to music that reminded her of Sirius, she looked at pictures of Sirius, she took out presents that Sirius had given her but those were only temporary reliefs from her daydreams. And it didn't help that James was checking in on her every two seconds. She appreciated his concern and all but it was getting to be too much for her to handle. She was going insane for this kid and she had no control over it. She needed Sirius back but she couldn't do it so soon. She didn't know what to do. Her mind was scrambled. She had to get out of her room or else she would go nuts. She decided to be 'better' the next day.

Lily got up at 7:00 the next morning, showered and dressed. She went down to the common room and picked up her book. She hadn't read it for a while. She opened to her place in the story and began to read. About five minutes into her reading, she heard the shower go on in the bathroom, signaling James was awake. After he was dressed he went into the common room to find that Lily was up and about.  
"I see you're feeling better," "Much. Thanks for your concern for the past few days," Lily told him.  
"Anytime," James replied. "Ready?" he asked. Lily nodded and stood up. He took her small hand in his and they left the dormitory. They entered the great hall and went to their usual section to find it occupied by no other than Sirius and a sixth year Hufflepuff. Lily tightened her grip on James hand as they went to sit at the other end of the Gryffindor table. That morning at breakfast was full of Lily ranting on to James about Sirius' new conquest.  
"How could he? I know he's only doing that to make me jealous!" "Well you're doing the same thing," James pointed out. Lily shot him a menacing look.  
"Not the point!" She exclaimed as she continued her rant. James sighed and just tuned her out, something he thought he'd never do. James walked Lily to her class as usual. She tilted her head up for the kiss she had come to enjoy when James said, "Lily, Sirius isn't here," Her heart quickened. He was right. How would she cover up for that?  
"The walls have eyes James," she told him. James leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips and waved goodbye. Lily leaned against the wall outside of the classroom grasping her books tightly. What was she going to do about this situation? She certainly couldn't tell James how she felt. That would ruin everything. She wanted Sirius back so bad, but she wanted to keep James too. She had come to like their relationship, however not-real it was. Life was definitely wayyy too confusing.

The days passed and Lily felt her attraction to James growing stronger each day. It was out of her control. She needed to get Sirius back fast. But she wanted to stay with James. As much as she didn't want to, she enjoyed James' company. She knew that if she left James for Sirius the reality of the situation would sink in and James would realize that he was being used. 'He did volunteer,' Lily thought. But this didn't make her feel any better. She knew that eventually she would have to leave James. That was the sole purpose of doing this. So that Lily could get Sirius back. That was the ultimate goal. James also knew this. He had absolutely no clue about Lily's growing feelings for him but he knew that he was enjoying their relationship and he didn't want it to end. He knew that Lily could end it any day now though. It had been over a month already and they never agreed on how long they would go for. Girls were unpredictable and spontaneous. James knew nothing about what went on inside of their heads. But what he did know was that he didn't want it to end. He enjoyed the daily kisses and caressses from the girl of his dreams. James just hoped that he was having as much of an affect on her as she was having on him. Little did James know, he was.

Lily paced back and forth in her room. This problem was getting too much for her to handle. She had to do something once and for all. She opened her bedroom door and went down to the common room. James sat doing his potions essay on the crimson sofa. She marched right upd to him and planted a passionate kiss right on his mouth.

**Gasp! Longest chapter! Yes!Read and review please!**


	6. Surprises

**Chapter Six **

Lily pulled away and examined James' dazed expression. James snapped back to reality and focused on Lily. His hazel eyes searched her emerald ones for an answer to his unasked question. When she didn't say anything, he voiced his confusion.  
"What the fuck was that?" Lily blushed crimson.  
"I-I'm not sure," she muttered. James raised his eyebrows skeptically.  
"Are you sure you're not sure? Because it felt to me like you were pretty sure of what you were doing," "Well, I thought I wanted Sirius back, but now I'm not so sure," Lily told him, nervous of what he would think. James had a feeling he knew what she was saying but he didn't want to get his hopes up.  
"What are you saying Lily?"  
"I'm saying that I think I might care about you as more than just a friend," she said softly, her red cheeks brightened. James' eyes widened.  
"Are you sure?" he asked apprehensively. Lily nodded, looking away. "Lily," she looked back up at him and before she could do anything, he was kissing her. It was like no kiss she had ever experienced. She could feel all of the love and the need pouring into her in what started as an innocent kiss but was slowly turning into something more. James' tongue brushed against Lily's lips begging for entrance which she granted. Their tongues danced together for awhile until James pulled away and made his way down her jaw and neck. Lily made soft moaning sounds everytime his lips made contact with her skin. She reached her hands up and entangled her fingers in his unruly dark hair. James slowly began to unbutton Lily's white school shirt. After he removed the shirt from her body, he let his hands wander to her black lace bra. He slid his hands underneath the material and massaged her breast.  
"James," Lily breathed softly. Without removing his hand, he skillfully unclasped her bra with his other hand and tossed it to the other side of the common room. He finally moved his hand away from her breast and into her hair. He brought his mouth back up to hers. Lily reached down to the hem of his t-shirt and pulled it over his head, breaking the kiss only for that one moment. Things took off from there, clothes were strewn around the common room and Lily lay underneath James on the couch. James admired Lily's naked form below him He could not believe that his fantasy was finally coming true. He had dreamed of this moment for years and now it was finally happening. James positioned himself outside of her opening. He looked at her inquisitively. She nodded encouragingly. James thrust himself inside of her and she let out a cry. She wrapped her legs around his waist, bringing him deeper inside of her. They moved together rhythmically, both enjoying the feeling that was building up inside of them

"Oh James!" she cried out as she came, soon followed by James. He collapsed on top of her in a sweaty heap, breathing heavily.

"Wow," he mumbled.

"Yeah," Lily said, looking up at him.

"Well this was a night of surprises," James told her grinning. Lily blushed. "Oh so _now_ you blush!" James joked. Lily hit him playfully on the arm and giggled. She clambered off the couch and gathered up her clothes, which were all accounted for except...

"Um, James," she blushed again. He looked at her expectantly. "I can't find my panties," she told him.

* * *

The next morning was awkward for the duo.

"So, are we still pretending or..." James trailed off. Lily shrugged.

"I guess not," she told him as she took his hand. They left the common room and headed down to the great hall. Their corner of the table was not occupied that morning so they sat down and cuddled like they did everyday. Only today it felt real, because it was. And they weren't the only ones that noticed.

"There's something different about them today," Sirius observed, "They seem more-genuine," Remus looked over at the snogging couple. Sirius was right. There was something different. He figured that Lily was only with James to hurt Sirius, but now he wasn't so sure.

After breakfast, James walked Lily to Ancient Runes, as usual. However, today James hung around outside of the classroom whispering sweet nothings into Lily's ear and occasionally kissing her.

"I'm glad I can do that whenever I want now," James whispered.

"Me too," Lily whispered back, kissing him on the lips. "But now you have to go," James pouted childishly causing Lily to giggle. "Bye James," she said, giving him a gentle push in the direction of his next class.


	7. Eerie Feelings

**Chapter Seven**

The next Hogsmeade weekend came soon. James and Lily went together, as an actual couple. Lily and James were a very mushy couple. They went everywhere together. Except maybe the bathroom. It was slightly disgusting to some people. Namely Sirius. His eyes followed them everwhere they could. It was a disturbing obsession. He tried to find anything wrong he possibly could about their relationship. Any sign of artificial feelings. He could find none. Sirius wanted Lily back now more than ever. Mostly because he wanted to take her from James, but on some level, he still cared for her. Sirius adopted some stalkerish qualities on his quest to win Lily back. On this Hogsmeade weekend, James and Lily strolled down the main road of Hogsmeade, occasionally stopping to look in store windows. They turned down a back street and walked hand in hand slowly up the street. Lily turned around every few steps to look behind her.

"Something wrong?" James asked.

"I just get the feeling we're being followed," Lily told him as she looked around at the empty road. She shrugged and took James hand again. Lily turned around again, but saw nothing. "Can we go back? This is just getting a little weird," Lily asked.

"If its bothering you that much," The couple turned around and headed back to the main road. Neither of them noticed Sirius crouched behind a garbage bin.

Lily and James met up with Frank Longbottom in the Three Broomsticks. James ordered butterbeer for the three of them and they sat and chatted about nothing in particular. After about twenty minutes in the Three Broomsticks, James began to get that eerie feeling of being watched.

"Come on Lily. Let's go. Bye Frank," As they left the pub, James explained his reason for such an abrupt departure.

"See! I'm not going crazy!" Lily joked as they headed back to Hogwarts.

During the next weeks, Sirius became more and more determined to win Lily back. He had no idea how he was going to accomplish this extremely difficult task but he knew he would do it somehow.

"Please Lily!" James begged. He poked out his bottom lip and gave her the sad eyes.

"No James! You are not going to copy my essay. Maybe if you started it a week ago like I told you to, you wouldn't be in this dilemma!" Lily scolded, avoiding his gaze. She knew that if she looked into his eyes her heart would melt and she would let him copy her homework. And that was something she didn't want to happpen. She gathered up her stuff and headed to her room. A few seconds after standing up, she realized that James was still following her. She sighed and handed him her essay.

"Never again James!" James snatched the parchment from her grasp with a grin. He planted a wet kiss on her mouth and bounded over to the couch to copy it. Lily rolled her eyes and headed into her room. Five minutes later, there was a knock on Lily's door. Before she could answer, James came strolling in with her essay in hand. He handed it to her and sat down on her bed.

"What would I do without you?" Lily smirked.

"You would fail all of your classes,"

"Oh, I forgot to ask. What are you doing for Christmas Vacation?" James inquired.

"I was just going to stay. I really don't feel like facing my sister anytime soon,"

"Okay its settled then," Lily frowned. "You're coming to stay with me,"

"Oh James I couldn't intrude like that,"

"Don't be thick. You're coming and thats final!"

**Wow I really had no idea where I was going for this chapter. Its really short. I have problems with that. Maybe the next one will be longer. It seems like a lot of time is passing isnt it? Well I need some stuff to fill the spaces in with. Give me some ideas of where to go with their relationship!**


	8. Christmas Ball

**Chapter Eight**

The day before everyone would leave to go home for Christmas holidays, an annual ball was held. Lily and James of course went together. James decked out in black and white dress robes and Lily in an emerald and white cocktail dress. The two walked down to the Great Hall. It was completely transformed. The house tables were replaced with several small round tables scattered around the perimeter of the room. There was vacant space in the middle of the hall that was already occupied by several dancing students. Lily and James headed into the hall and took a seat at an empty table.

"Do you want a drink?" James asked. Lily nodded as James stood up and headed over to the refreshment table. Lily's eyes scanned the room. The settled on a certain Gryffindor that was making out with a seventh year Ravenclaw very conspicuously. Lily was like a deer in the headlights. She couldn't tear her eyes away. Although she was with James, she still felt a pang of jealousy seeing Sirius with another girl. Lily knew that Sirius had the same plan that she had in the beginning. To make her jealous. His plan was working. James came back to the table at that moment. She tore her eyes away from the couple and smiled at James. He handed her a cup filled with punch and sat down next to her. They spent the next half hour chatting about nothing. A slow song came on and James turned to Lily.

"Would you like to dance?" He asked. Lily smiled.

"I would love to," Lily said, standing up and taking his hand. James led her to the floor and put his arms around her waist. Lily laced her arms around his neck and rested her head on his muscular torso. They swayed slowly to the music. The song ended and Lily and James broke apart.

"Do you want to go outside?" James asked her. Lily nodded and followed him out of the Great Hall. The two walked down to the lake and sat down under an oak tree. Lily crawled into James' lap and lay her head on his shoulder.

"I want to tell you something Lily," James said. Lily sat up and looked into his eyes concernedly.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I love you Lily. I always have. Ever since the first time I ever laid eyes on you," Lily smiled.

"I love you too, James," Hearing those words fall off of Lily Evans' lips was the best thing to ever happen to him. James leaned forward and kissed her on the mouth, taking Lily by surprise. After she got over the intial shock she kissed him back softly. Their lips moved together, slowly caressing each other. When they broke apart, they were both breathing heavily. Lily shivered slightly as the wind blew and rain began to fall from the sky. The couple laughed together as they ran for shelter inside the castle.

The next morning, Lily and James boarded the train to Kings Cross Station. Lily was panicking the whole ride.

"What if your parents hate me?" Lily cried.

"They won't," James assured her.

"What if they don't like red-heads?"

"My mum's a red-head,"

"What if they think I'm annoying?"

"Lily, calm down. They're going to love you. I promise," James said comfortingly.

**Don't worry. I haven't fallen off the face of the Earth. Lol.**


	9. James' Parents

**Chapter Nine**

Lily and James got off of the Hogwarts Express and James began to search around for his parents. Lily spotted a couple, waving madly at them. She tapped James' shoulder and pointed. James face broke out into a grin. He grabbed her hand and pulled her toward them. His parents enveloped him in a hug. When they released him after a moment.

"And you must be Lily," James' mother said, turning to her."

"James didn't do you justice!" His father said. Lily blushed crimson.

"Thank you Mr. Potter," she said shyly.

"Whats with this Mr. Potter nonsense. Its Harold,"

"I'm Diane," James' mother said, hugging Lily. "Apparently Potter men take to red-heads," Diane remarked, referring to Lily's hair.

"Where's Sirius?" Asked Harold. James' face darkened significantly.

"He won't be coming with us," He told his father. Harold's face twisted into confusion, but he could tell that now was not the time to talk about it.

When they arrived at James' house Lily was in awe.

"_This_ is where you live?" She asked incredulously. James shrugged.

"Yeah. It's not that big of a deal," He said non-chalantly. Lily's eyes widened.

"What do you mean 'It's not that big of a deal'? You live in a _mansion_!" she exclaimed as they walked up the drive. Lily was speechless when they saw the inside of the house. The floor was made of black marble and had a persian rug near the entrance way. The walls were lined with dozens of what Lily presumed were family portraits. One of these portraits were of James' parents and a very young James. Lily guessed that he was about five years old. There were three sets of French doors, one set of which were open. Lily looked through the open doors into the living room. This room was carpeted and had a stone fireplace blazing. There was an over-stuffed couch and a chair to match. A mahogany coffee table stood in front of the couch. James smirked at Lily's reaction to his house.

"Come on Lily," James said. "I'll show you to your room," All Lily could do was nod and follow him through the French doors straight ahead and up a grand marble staircase. James led her down a series of corridors, all of which were lined with ornate lanterns and portraits of family members. Finally, James stopped in front of an oak door. He turned the knob and pushed it open. Lily nearly fainted at the sight of her bedroom. The walls were painted lime green color and the carpet was a paler shade of the walls. The satin comforter on her four poster queen sized bed was forest green and the dozen pillows varied from white to different shades of green. Her suitcases which had already been brought up looked like crap compared to the bedroom. Lily noticed the white dresser and vanity table in two corners of her room. Two doors on opposite walls she assumed were a closet and a bathroom. Lily opened the door to her left and revealed a walk in closet fit for a princess. She was almost scared to open the other door. She reached for the door knob and pulled open the door. The bathroom was pure white marble from the floor, to the jacuzzi bathtub, to the sink to the toilet to the ceiling. Lily really couldn't say a word. So she did the only thing that she could manage. She turned to James, who had been following her the whole time, and kissed him. Hard. When she pulled away, she was grinning.

"So I take it you like it?" James said, grinning back. Lily finally found her voice.

"I _love_ it!" She said kissing him again. James followed Lily back into her room and she began to unpack her stuff. James pulled something out of her duffel bag and held it up.

"Nice," he said teasingly. Lily turned around to see what he meant and she saw him holding up a red and black lace thong. Lily blushed crimson as she snatched it from his grasp.

"Thank you," she snapped, still blushing. She finished unpacking everything and looked around, admiring the room again.

"Come on, you want a tour?" James asked. Lily nodded and followed him out of the room. He led her outside, into the gardens where he picked a white lily and placed it behind her ear. They walked outside on the terrace and on the patio. They went back inside and he gave her a tour of the whole first floor. Behind the third set of French doors was a dining room, where everything was made of black marble and mahogany. On the second floor, there was a rec room, a study and a few bedrooms including his parents'. On the third floor were more bedrooms including Lily's and his own. The last stop was James' bedroom. It was a typical boys room. Slightly messy, with books and clothes strewn around. Posters of quidditch players graced the blue walls. Lily sat down on the unmade bed and looked around.

"Nice. If not slightly messy," Lily smiled and stretched out on his bed. James came over and sat down next to her. He leaned over and kissed her softly on the lips. Lily pulled away and looked into his dancing hazel eyes and smiled. She kissed him again, this time pulling him on top of her. Their mouthes moved together slowly but hungrily. James slipped his hand under her sweater and caressed her breast. Suddenly there was a knock on the door.

"James?" Diane's voice filtered through the door.

"Damn!" He muttered. Lily giggled softly as she readjusted her shirt. "Yes mum?" James called.

"Bring Lily down to the living room so we can talk to her,"

"Alright mum!" James sighed as his mother walked away. He stood up and held out a hand for Lily. Lily gratefully took it and pulled herself up.

000

"So you're a muggle born?" Was Harold's first question.

"Dad!" James exclaimed.

"What? I'm just asking," Harold said. Lily smiled and nodded.

"Yes I am," she said.

"What's it like? You know, to live without magic?" He asked eagerly. Lily laughed to herself.

"Well, its the same as here just without magic and a lot less extravagant," she told him.

"How can you survive without magic?" Diane interjected. Lily shrugged.

"Well I grew up that way. Until I turned eleven, it was the only life I ever knew," The evening went on with several more questions. Lily was freed at 9:00 after three hours of interrogation.

"Sorry about that," James said sheepishly when they were up in her room. "It's just you're the only girl I've ever brought home," Lily was in shock.

"Really?" James nodded.

"Yeah. You were the only one worth it," Lily blushed and looked down at the pale green carpet. James lifted her chin and kissed her softly. James pushed her gently down on the bed. Lily raised her hands and entangled them in James unruly hair. James pushed Lily's sweater up and over her head, exposing her abdomen. He unclasped her bra and threw it to the other side of the room. His mouth left hers and traveled down her jawbone and her neck. He left wet open mouthed kisses on her torso and stomach. Lily giggled when he blew a rasberry on her belly. James sat up and removed his shirt and jeans. Lily's skirt was next. Lily's hands went down to the hem of his black silk boxers and pushed them off of him exposing his erect manhood. James finished the task of removing the undergarments from his body. Next was Lily. He grabbed the sides of her panties and pulled them down painfully slowly. So slowly that Lily cried out in protest. When the underwear were discarded, James pushed himself into her, causing her to emit a soft moan. The two moved together slowly at first, but gained speed as they went on. They moaned each others names periodically. James felt Lily began to clench around him, signalling that she was about to climax. Lily screamed as she came, causing James to spill himself into her. They lay together for a moment, revelling in the moment. Then James pulled out of her.

"I hope your parents didn't hear us, we were kind of loud," Lily said as she stroked James dark hair.

"Nah, they're still downstairs," He told her. That was a comforting thought.

**Yay! Longest chapter! Review please!**


	10. Losing Him

**Chapter Ten**  
Christmas morning came quickly. Lily was awakened by James running in and jumping on her bed like a small child, though he was quite the contrary. Lily was a pretty heavy sleeper and was used to having her little cousin jumping on her on Christmas morning. Normally if it was a child she probably would have turned over and gone back to sleep, but having an almost fully grown man jumping on her was a completely different story.

"Mmmf!" Lily groaned.

"Wake up, wake up! It's Christmas!" Lily rolled over and looked at the clock.

"James its 6:30! Why are you waking me up at this ungodly hour!" She mumbled, barely coherent. James on the other hand was wide awake, bouncing on her bed with childlike enthusiasm.

"Come on Lily! You can go back to sleep after presents!" Lily groaned again and dragged herself out of bed. James grabbed her hand and pulled her down the maze of hallways to the den where his parents already resided, looking just as disgruntled as Lily. She sank down into one of the overstuffed chairs and rested her chin in her hand. James dove under the Christmas tree and pulled out a random present. It was for his mother from him. Diane unwrapped the present and smiled. It was a frame that held many pictures. James had already placed some pictures in it. Many of them were of him and his parents waving up at them. After Diane kissed him, he dove back under the tree and pulled out another present. This one was from Lily to James' father. It was a muggle boombox. He seemed to be fascinated by all of the buttons and dials. He thanked Lily for the present. The next gift that James pulled out was from James' parents to Lily. She unwrapped the present to find a book on unusual charms. Lily figured that James must have told them that charms was her favorite subject. James dug out the present for him from his parents. He eagerly unwrapped it to find a Zonko's Ultimate Pranking Kit. James' whole face lit up as he started to open the box. James' father cleared his throat, reminding James to finish with the presents first. James put down the kit, disappointedly and pulled out another present. This one was for Diane from Lily. It was a muggle nail care set. James pulled out one last present for his father from him. It was a pack of different cd's that he knew his father would like. After recieving all of their presents, James' parents left the room. Lily and James gave each other their presents.

"We'll open them on the count of three. One, two, three!" Lily said as she ripped open the small box. James' face absolutely glowed. Lily had gotten him the top of the line, broom maintenance kit. Lily pulled a necklace out of the box. it was silver with small diamonds surrounding an emerald. Her eyes teared. As she looked at James.

"James, this must have cost you a fortune!"

"You're worth it," James told her. Lily threw her arms around his neck in a bone breaking hug. She pulled away and kissed him on the lips.

"I love it! I love you!" James fastened the necklace around her neck. "Thank you so much James!"

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

New Years came and went quickly in the Potter Manor. It was very soon that they were on platform nine and three quarters, ready to go back to school. James and Lily said goodbye to his parents as they left the platform. James took his and Lily's trunk and headed to the bagage compartment. Lily headed to the doors when she locked eyes with a certain ex-boyfriend. Lily and Sirius stared at each other unblinkingly for a moment. Lily broke the gaze when James came behind her.

When the train was about an hour away from Hogwarts, Lily left the heads compartment to go change into her robes. On her way back from the bathroom, she was stopped in the hallway, by non other than Sirius.

"What do you want Sirius?" Lily demanded.

"Lily I love you, and I miss you. I know you miss me too, I could tell by the way you looked at me on the platform," Lily looked away from his gaze.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Lily said. Sirius lifted her chin and brought his gaze to his.

"I know you do," Sirius said softly. He leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips. Surprisingly she didn't push him away, she kissed him back.

"I knew it was too good to be true," Lily pushed Sirius away at this.

"James wait!" She called, but it was too late, James was gone.


	11. Reunited

**Chapter Eleven**

Lily ran down the hall, leaving Sirius in the dust.

"James," she said, grabbing his shoulder and spinning him around. "It's not what it looked like,"

"So you weren't kissing your ex-boyfriend?" James retorted snidely.

"_He _kissed _me_!"

"Well you kissed him back!" Lily blushed and looked down, ashamed. She had nothing to say to that. It was the truth.

"James, I'm sorry, I don't want to lose you!"

"Well you should have thought about that before you went around kissing your ex's!" He shouted before storming off. Lily slid down the wall and cried. She felt a presence above her and she looked up, hoping it was James. She looked up and saw Sirius standing over her. Lily clambered to her feet, furiously.

"This is all your fault! If you hadn't kissed me, this never would have happened!" Lily yelled, prodding Sirius in the chest every other word.

"Well maybe, if you didn't kiss me back-" Sirius was cut off by Lily's hand making contact with his face with a SMACK that echoed through the train. She spun on her heel and marched down the corridor in rage. Lily found and empty compartment closed herself in. She sat on the floor, with her knees under her chin and cried. She not only cried for James, but she cried for Sirius as well. As horrible as it may sound, she still cared for Sirius, and that kiss made it even more evident. However, she also cared for James, but in a different way. One could not compare the two former friends. Sirius was wild and rambunctious. He was the type of person that you would go to if you were looking for a good time or a romp in the sheets. He was fun loving and unpredictable and he could also be caring at times when you needed it. James on the other hand was sensitive. He was a person you could really talk to about your problems and he would listen and try to help. If you were upset and wanted to be alone, he would respect your privacy. He was also very romantic. He was not one to rush into things. Many a time he had set up romantic evenings for him and Lily. Despite their differences, Lily loved them both very much and she couldn't decide what to do. Just then the compartment door opened and Sirius entered. Lily looked up at him through teary green eyes. Sirius' eyes softened and he picked Lily up and put her on the seat next to him. Lily sniffed loudly. Sirius put his muscular arms around her in a hug, allowing her to cry on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry Lily, I really am," Sirius whispered in her ear.

"I know you are, I am too," Lily pulled away from his embrace and looked him in the eye. "Can I tell you something?" Lily said.

"Anything,"

"At first, me and James were only dating to get our revenge on you-"

"I knew it!" Sirius interrupted.

"Let me finish!" Lily said aggrivated. "But after a few weeks, I felt myself falling for James. But I still loved you and the whole plan was to get you back. But I couldn't deny my feelings for James. So James and I got together, for real, and I loved him like a girlfriend should. Maybe even more. But this whole time, I've also been harboring my feelings for you. The whole time I was with James I was happy, but every so often thoughts of you would just pop out of nowhere. I love you both so much! I don't know what to do!" Sirius looked at her sympathetically. He leaned down and kissed her softly, she snaked her arms around his neck and pulled him close. But they were interrupted once again.

"You bounce back fast," James commented from the doorway. Lily blushed and pulled away from Sirius. "May I borrow the Head Girl please Black." It was more of a statement than a question. Lily followed James out of the compartment. They walked towards the heads compartment in silence, but that's not to say that James didn't notice Lily's tear stained face. 'Was she crying over me or Sirius?' James thought. They entered the Heads Compartment where Professor McGonagal was waiting to give them their orders.

0000000

Lily was not in the Great Hall for dinner that night. 'Probably off shagging Sirius,' James thought bitterly. But then he noticed Sirius at the other end of the table and sighed. He was going to miss her. (A/N: wow that was a pointless little section LOL)

0000000

After dinner, Sirius found Lily down by the lake, thinking. About James, about Sirius, and a whole lot of other things that were going on.

"Hey, are you okay?" Sirius asked as he sat down on a nearby boulder. Lily simply nodded as she stared off into the horizon. "Lily?"

"Hmmm,"

"Do you think we could give 'us' another chance?" Lily looked at him.

"I don't know, Sirius. I've been thinking lately. It was stupid of me to try to get you back, especially in that way. But I've also been thinking about why we broke up in the first place. I don't know if I can trust you again. I can't take much more heartache,"

"Lily let me explain about that. You didn't give me much of a chance to in September," Lily raised her eyebrows and urged him to continue. "Okay, heres the thing. Back on the first day of school, I made a date with Amanda Packard. I knew that she had to go away to visit her grandmother for a few weeks so we made the date for when she came back. I asked you out on the second week of school, not really expecting much. But to my surprise you said yes. I did really like you though, don't get me wrong. It's just, James liked you more, and longer,"

"He loved me," Lily mumbled. Sirius ignored her comment and continued.

"So we were happy together and everything, and then I received a note that said 'meet me in the astronomy tower at 7'. I had completely forgotten Amanda by this point, so I went, thinking it was you. Then she kissed me and I was about to push her off when you walked in and jumped to conclusions. And you know the rest," Lily nodded.

"I should have let you explain. I'm sorry Sirius," Lily put her cloaked arms around his neck in a warm embrace. "I just can't be with you now. I need time to think. After that we can start over,"

"I'd rather take it from where we left off," Sirius smirked. Lily smiled and stood up.

"You'll know when I'm ready." She turned around and headed back up to the castle, with Sirius not too far behind.

0000000

Over the next few weeks, it didn't seem like James was going to come around. Lily had attempted to talk to him, but he ignored her each time and each time, it broke Lily's heart all over again. But in the meantime, Lily was becoming close to Sirius again. They spent much more time together than they had over the past months. Hogwarts students were confused at the sudden changes. Weren't Lily and _James_ going out? Didn't Lily and Sirius break up much earlier in the year? They were completely lost.

"Ahh! Sirius stop! It tickles!" Lily cried as Sirius attacked her sides with his fingers. They were in her bedroom in the heads dorms.

"That's kind of the point Lily," She grabbed his wrists, hoping to stop the torturous tickling, but to no avail. Lily rolled over and she brought Sirius with her. They landed on the floor with Lily laying on top of him, still holding his wrists which were now pinned to the floor.

"If someone were to walk in, this would be a very comprimising situation," Sirius pointed out. Lily rolled her eyes. Sirius was always thinking of something like that. She looked down into his chocolate brown eyes and smiled. She had never noticed how nice they were.

"Lily are you okay?" Sirius was answered with Lily's mouth attacking his in a passionate frenzy. After he got over the initial shock, he pried her hands off of his wrists and put his arms around her waist. He flipped their positions without Lily even comprehending. She lifted her hand up to his school shirt and unbuttoned it slowly and pushed it off of his shoulders. She ran her hands over his tanned muscles. She could feel the goosebumps rising on his skin. Sirius removed his socks and shoes and climbed onto the bed as Lily did the same. A guy in boxers and socks is not hot. Lily unbuttoned her shirt and let it fall to the floor. Sirius' erection became evident as Lily began to unclasp her bra. She dropped it on top of her shirt and got in the bed next to Sirius. He climbed on top of her and caressed her milky white breasts, causing her to emit soft moans. Sirius dragged his fingers down her body slowly and sensually. They stopped at the rim of her skirt to unbutton it. He pulled it off of her and discarded it with the rest of her clothes. He moved to remove her panties as well, but Lily stopped him.

"Your turn," she smirked, as she reached down to unfasted his slacks. Sirius pulled them off of his body and tossed them randomly to the floor. Sirius' hands found their way back to Lily's panty line. His pinkys slipped under the delicate material and dragged them slowly down her legs and dropped them into the pile of clothes next to the bed. Lily yanked Sirius' boxers off, exposing his completely erect member. She pulled him on top of her and he sucked on her neck gently as he entered her. Each of his thrusts were met by one of Lily's own. They moved together erotically, occasionally emitting a gasp, a moan, or the others name.

**meanwhile**

James entered the common room that evening and was greeted by soft sounds coming from Lily's room.

"Oh Sirius!" He heard through the door. 'Deja vu' James thought as he left the common room.


	12. Utter confusion and unexpected gifts

**Okay wow! I was sooo happy with the amount of reviews I got for this. For those of you who don't like the fact that I ask for more reviews, I would appreciate it if you would kindly NOT TELL ME WHAT TO DO. It is my story and I will ask for whatever I want, whether it is a reachable goal or not. I for one believe that getting more reviews is very reachable. It is not a difficult task to type a few words in a review window. Thank you so much for all the people that did. You helped me reach over 100 reviews for the first time ever! Yay! That definitely makes me very happy. On that note, I want to apologize profusely for not updating quickly as promised. I have been so busy. My family reunion is in my hometown this year and it takes a ridiculous amount of time to plan it. In fact, I'm not supposed to be online right now but I am because I feel that I'm neglecting my readers. It's down to the wire, and my reunion starts in a few days, so after the 4th of July, I will definitely be updating maybe twice a week. Now that I've bored any of the people who actually read the authors note (I know I dont lol) I will get on with the story. **

**Chapter Twelve**

The next morning, Lily woke up and Sirius was not lying next to her. It felt good to be back with Sirius. She had missed him so much. But there was also another emotion somewhere inside of her that she couldn't put her finger on. She shrugged it off as she dragged herself out of bed. She slipped on her robe and headed into the bathroom for a shower. She opened the door to find James shaving his face in front of the mirror. He looked up when she opened the door.

"Oh, sorry, I'll come back when you're finished," James nodded as she closed the door. Lily felt a wave of sadness wash over her, and add to her sea of emotions. She didn't know what to think anymore. She loved Sirius, the whole plan was created to get Sirius back. The only problem was that she fell in love with James on the way. Now that James wouldn't even talk to her anymore, she was led to Sirius. But she couldn't tell who she wanted to be with most. Both of them made her feel beautiful and loved. Why was life so complicated?

She headed down to the Great Hall and took a seat next to Sirius who sat with James and Remus. And surprisingly, it seemed that they were having a civilized conversation. She caught Remus' eye. He knew what she was asking and he shrugged his shoulders. He had no idea what was going on either. She made a note to ask Sirius about it later. James and Sirius were acting like old friends, which they were. But they were acting like there was never a pause in their friendship. Like there was no Lily. She felt sure that if she got up and walked away, the only person who would notice would be Remus. She decided to test out her theory. It turns out, she was right. As soon as she was out of the Great Hall, she leaned against the wall next to the doors, waiting to see if anyone would come after her. When the door creaked open, she looked expectantly. She found herself hoping that it was James that came after her. WHAT? No, she was hoping it was Sirius, not James, SIRIUS. But the person who came out of the Great Hall was not James or Sirius. It was Remus. He looked around, which was her sign that he was looking for her.

"Remus," she called. He spun around to face her and he smiled when he saw her. Remus was one of her few close friends at Hogwarts. She had plenty of other friends, just none that she could call close. Remus was like a brother to her. She knew that she could count on him when she needed him most.

"Okay, that was just a _little_ strange in there," He nodded in agreement. "They're talking and acting like nothing ever happened between them. Like they were never fighting over me!" At that moment, Lily was not even slightly aware of how self-centered that comment sounded, and frankly she didn't care. "When did this happen? Why didn't I know about it? Why didn't James tell me?" Lily stopped when she realized what she had said. Remus looked at her with raised eyebrows. "I meant Sirius. Why didn't Sirius tell me. I just get them mixed up because they're both so bloody hot." Lily rolled her eyes and sighed once that sentence came out of her mouth. "That came out wrong. I'm just going to stop talking now," she finished. After a long pause, Remus spoke.

"You are in love with both of them aren't you?" Lily's emerald eyes dropped their gaze to the floor as she nodded.

"What am I going to do?" Lily wailed. "I love Sirius so much, but its not much of a choice because James won't even talk to me! Now it will be even worse now that they are friends again!" Remus just shook his head.

"I don't know what to tell you," He told her.

February fourteenth approached quickly. There was to be a Hogsmeade trip that day so that the students could spend their Valentine's day with their boyfriends or girlfriends or just friends. Lily woke up that morning to find a box on her bedside table that had her name printed on it neatly. She opened the box, expecting it to be from Sirius, but it was not. Inside the box was a beautiful bracelet encrusted with diamonds and emeralds. It was a perfect match to the necklace that she never took off. She looked at it in awe. And here she was thinking that James didn't love her anymore. She got dressed and when she headed to the common room, she found James and Sirius talking about Quidditch. Lily received flowers and a kiss from Sirius. Lily caught James' eye and gave him a small smile. She raised her sleeve slightly so that James could see that she was wearing the bracelet that he gave her. Lily thought that she saw a glimmer of a smile, but she couldn't be sure because it was gone in an instant. That afternoon, she went to Hogsmeade with Sirius. The day seemed to drag on, and all she could think about was the tremendously expensive present she had received from James. She even sneaked into the jewelry store while Sirius was in the bathroom in the Three Broomsticks. She asked the clerk how much a bracelet like that ran. She showed the woman the bracelet and she looked at it in awe.

"Miss, that bracelet was custom made. It must have been at least three hundred galleons,"

"Thank you," Lily raced back into the Three Broomsticks just as Sirius was leaving the little wizards room. The rest of the afternoon she was in a daze. She couldn't imagine why James would spend so much money on her. If the bracelet was three hundred, how much would the necklace have cost? At least a hundred more. James spent at least seven hundred galleons on her. And she couldn't fathom why. He wouldn't even talk to her. Sirius, noticed her uninterested expression.

"Lils, are you okay?" She nodded absently. Sirius knew there was something up with her but he didn't want to pry. 'She'll share when she's ready', Sirius thought. Lily kissed Sirius goodbye in the lobby and headed up to the Heads Dorms. As she reached the tapestry, James was on his way out. He nodded to acknowlage her presence, but Lily wasn't letting him off that easy this time.

"I need to talk to you," She stated, grabbing his hand and pulling him into the common room. She pushed him against the wall and held up her wrist, showing him the bracelet. "Why did you spend so much?" she demanded. "I went into the jewelers in Hogsmeade. The woman told me this would run for about 300 galleons. Thats crazy!"

"You went into the jewelers with Sirius, to ask about a bracelet that _I_ gave you?" Lily blushed scarlet.

"He was in the bathroom," she mumbled, looking away,

"I love you," James stated bluntly. Lily's head jerked back up.

"What?"

"That's why I spent so much." Lily's expression was shocked. "What? You didn't think I was going to just stop loving you like that did you?" Lily shrugged. She didn't know what she thought. She looked into his deep hazel eyes and was struck with an urge to kiss him. An urge that she acted on. Lily grabbed the sides of James face and pulled it down to hers. She kissed his lips softly and pulled away. James gently took her hands and removed them from his face. "I love you Lily. So much. But you can't just keep switching guys like this. We have hearts too,"

"Yeah, and you just broke mine. Again," Sirius said from the doorway.

**Ooooh! Gotta love the cliffies! Keep the reviews coming!**


	13. Depression

**Chapter Thirteen**

Lily's eyes widened and her head spun in the direction of Sirius' voice.

"Sirius!"

"Save it Lily," Sirius growled, as he spun on his heel and stormed out of the common room. Lily's confused green eyes settled on James again. He looked down at the redheaded beauty and shook his head. He kissed her on top of her head and left the common room to find Sirius. Once he was gone, Lily collapsed on the floor in tears. She had messed everything up again, and this time, she had no one to run to. Why was love so confusing?

Over the next few days, Lily stayed holed up in her room. She didn't come out for any reason, except to use the bathroom. James noticed her absence and he was concerned. He realized Lily was not leaving her room, not for classes, or showers, or even meals. Was she eating? He wondered. This prospect only made him worry more. He made a few attempts to get Lily to come out of her room. Each and every time, he was either brutally berated and sent away, or ignored completely. Despite his efforts, Lily refused to come out of her room. Eventually he gave up, deciding that when she was ready, she would come out. She had to eat sometime. Right? James kept telling himself this, but it was of no consolation. It seemed like Lily was going to stay locked in that room forever. And that was exactly her intention. Until she received an owl from Dumbledore, explaining that if she did not return to her classes by the end of the week unless excused by Madame Pomfrey, she would be stripped of her Head status. This certainly drew Lily out of her stupor. Slightly. The following Thursday morning, Lily dragged herself out of bed and into the shower. She made no effort to look nice. She threw her hair up in a messy ponytail and put on a t-shirt and sweatpants. She avoided the Great Hall and went straight to McGonagall's classroom and took a seat in the back of the room. A little while after Lily took her seat in the classroom, students began filing in, including James and Sirius. Sirius completely ignored her presence but James did a double take upon seeing her. Though he was glad to see that Lily had emerged from her cave, he was shocked at her appearance. Was this the same funloving beautiful Lily Evans that was at his house over Christmas? The same Lily Evans that he had dated happily for three months? This bummy girl with the dark circles under her eyes, was this the Lily Evans he loved. Lily saw James nudge Sirius and nod in her general direction. Sirius glanced at her. She thought she saw a glimmer of sadness, but it was quickly replaced by anger. Sirius focused on James again and shrugged turning away from the both of them. Lily had a vague idea of what had just gone down. James probably said something about her appearance and Sirius pretended like he didn't care. But Lily saw that glimmer in his eyes, and she knew that he wasn't saying all he felt.

Lily didn't speak at all during the whole period, or through the entire day. Lily Evans had become a mute. As soon as classes were over, she went back to the Head Dorms and locked herself in her cave again. This routine went on for weeks. Lily occasionally showed up in the Great Hall during meals, but James noticed that she wasn't eating enough. He watched her during the rare occasions that she was there. Sometimes James had a suspicion that she only showed up in the Great Hall to show that she was alive. She didn't really eat enough to make a difference in the fact that she was losing weight rapidly. The most she would eat at breakfast would be a few grapes and a bite of toast. Though she piled her plate high, she only pushed the food around to create the illusion that she was eating. James knew her tricks. Lily didn't even bother to use magic to cover up the ever darkening circles under her eyes. James was truly worried, and he knew that Sirius was too. He just didn't want to share it. Sirius caught James watching Lily push her food around. Lily looked up at him and attempted a smile, which James was about to return.

"Come on James," Sirius said, glaring at her and getting up out of his seat. James turned his attention to Sirius.

"Padfoot-"

"Come on," Sirius demanded. James got up and followed Sirius out of the Great hall. Somehow the fact that when Sirius dissed her it didn't hurt as badly as when James did it.

**AN: I know! Short, sucky, _and_ late. Sorry! I know I promised twice a week, but I can already tell I wont be able to do that. I got a full time job. My updates will only come once a week the most! Sorry! And those of you waiting on Just Friends, Right? I will be updating that sometime soon, but at the moment I have completely forgotten what I was going to do! I will remember, I promise!**


	14. discoveries

**Ahhhhh! I'm back! And sorrier than ever! Okay...I'm going to attempt at a chapter. I know what I want to happen but I need filler chapters sooooo, this might be tres sucky. Enjoy!**

**Chapter Fourteen**

As Sirius and James strode out of the Great Hall, tears welled up in Lily's emerald orbs. She dropped her fork and lifted her hand to wipe her tears before they fell. She stood up and walked out of the Great Hall and up to the Head Dorms where she would cry her heart out in her bedroom. She slammed her door shut and flung herself onto the bed where she dissolved into a fit of sobs. Lily stayed curled up in the fetal position, staring at the walls as the tears streamed down her face. About an hour later, there was a soft knock on her door.

"Go away!" she shouted angrily. He knocked again, ignoring her command. "I said go away!" There was another knock and then the door creaked open. James peeked in at her. "What the fuck didn't you understand?" Lily was sitting up now.

"I'm not leaving Lily," James told her softly. She glared at him angrily, the tears still falling.

"Don't you think you've hurt me enough?" She struggled to keep her voice even, but in vain. It quivered with anger and sadness.

"Have you ever thought about how I feel? Or how Sirius feels? We were hurt too Lily. By your indecisiveness," (**A/N: is that a word? lol**) Lily's eyes lowered as she comprehended what he was saying to her. "We both love you so much Lily. But we don't love being toyed with,"

"James I'm sorry. I've been really selfish. But I'm upset too! Look at me! You could have just spoken to me before I got like this!" James looked down at Lily's bummy appearance. He lifted her arm that was much skinnier than it had been the last time he had held her. The bracelet he had given her almost falling off. He noticed a scar on her lower wrist. James pushed up her sleeve to reveal more scars similar to the first. Lily tried to pull away but he held on tight. His eyes drifted back up to her face. A tear trickled down her face as James examined her. Lily's face had become sallow and sunken in. All of her features seemed too big for her face. Her once sparkling green eyes were now dull and emotionless.

"Why?" Lily stifled a sob and pulled away.

"When was the last time you ate?" Lily avoided eye contact.

"What are you talking about James? I ate this morning."

"No you didn't. Half a slice of bacon and a bite of an apple doesn't count,"

"Have you been monitoring my eating habits?"

"You can't answer a question with a question, Lily. When was the last time you ate. For real?" Lily was silent for a moment.

"I don't remember," She told him softly.

"Oh Lily," James whispered, he gathered Lily into his arms and held her as she cried. Neither of them noticed Sirius watching the whole scene from the doorway.

00000000000000

The next morning, James forced Lily out of bed and into the shower. After she was dressed in some decent clothes, he walked with her to the Great Hall and filled her plate high with food.

"Now you are going to eat every last bite of this," Lily's eyes widened.

"James I'm not Sirius, I can't eat all of this," James reexamined the plate and realized that she was right. He put some of her food onto his plate until there was a normal amount of food remaining. Lily sighed and knew that she wasnt getting out of it. So she began to eat. Once she tasted the food for real, she realized that she actually was hungry. Now that James was talking to her again. She felt closer to being normal than she had in a long time.

**gahhhh... i cant seem to write any long chapters!**


	15. Decisions

**Chapter Fifteen**

James held back Lily's hair as she puked up her breakfast into the toilet. When she was finished, she brushed her teeth and glared at James.

"I _told_ you that I wouldn't be able to hold down that second serving of eggs," James smiled sheepishly at her. She looked at herself in the mirror and sighed. James toyed with her hair that hung around her face in limp, sick looking waves.

"What have you done to yourself Lils?" She let a tear roll down her face and sniffed.

"Can you leave me alone for a few minutes?" She asked softly. James nodded and headed out. She waited until he closed the door before picking up the scissor from the counter and pressing it to her skin. The door opened and James poked his head in.

"Hey Lily-" His gaze dropped to the sink where she had dropped the scissors. She quickly tried to cover the cut that was dripping blood onto the white marble. James' eyes widened. Lily refused to meet his gaze and looked away like the cat who ate the canary. James rushed over and healed the cut with his wand. He pulled her into his embrace.

"Lily, you have to stop doing this to yourself, you have to!" Tears rolled down her face and her body convulsed with sobs against him.

"I don't know if I can!" she cried woefully.

"You have to,"

"James?" Sirius' voice rang through the dorm. He peered through the open bathroom door. When he saw them together, his eyes darkened. "I should have known," He turned to leave but James grabbed his arm.

"What the hell Sirius!" James shouted in his face. Lily was taken aback by his force. Sirius backed up slightly. "Stop acting like you don't care! You know you do! But under that facade you put on, you don't even realize what's happening to her. Do you know that she hasn't been eating?" Sirius frowned.

"Yes she has, I watch her every morning," After saying this Sirius blushed and Lily looked up at him in surprise.

"No she hasn't. Before this morning, she can't even remember the last time she really ate. And do you want to know where that blood in the sink came from?"

"James dont-" Jame grabbed Lily's arm and pushed up the sleeve, exposing her scars. Sirius gasped at the sight.

"Now dont even act like you don't care!" Lily pulled her arm out of James' grasp and pulled down the sleeve. When she finished adjusting herself, Sirius enveloped her in a bone crushing hug.

"I'm so sorry Sirius, I never meant to hurt you,"

"I know, but you did. You hurt me a lot. But I just want you to know, I will always love you, and nothing can change that," Lily smiled and hugged him tight. James felt a tinge of jealously. "But Lily, you have to make a choice. It's either me or James, you can't have us both." Lily looked at James and back to Sirius. This was going to be very difficult.

"I need time to think," she whispered. The guys both nodded. James made sure to wait until Lily left the bathroom. He was not going to leave her alone again.

00000000

Lily sat on her bed, thinking deeply. She knew she had to make a choice. But what a difficult choice it was. She loved them both so much. She thought about the things she loved about each of them. James. He was so caring and gentle when he was with her. The way he kissed her and touched her. It made her feel so safe and warm and loved. When they were together, it felt like nothing could go wrong. And that things would be perfect forever, just as long as she had him. Sirius was a completely different person altogether. He was fun loving a daring. He loved to try new things, and he always included her in his adventures. Being with Sirius was fun in the sense that you would never know what was going to happen. He was unpredictable. Sirius gave her a thrill that James couldn't give her. But she always felt like he was there to protect her no matter what happened. She thought some more and she felt like she had made her choice.

0000000

The next morning, she approached the two guys and took a deep breath.

"I've made my decision," James and Sirius looked at her anxiously.

"What is it?" They said in unison. Lily bit her lip. "I'm sorry James," She said softly. She saw his face visibly drop, but quickly resume a non-chalant expression as he patted Sirius on the back.

"Congratulations mate, you're a really lucky guy," It was obvious that Sirius felt bad about the whole ordeal, but he couldn't contain his happiness over the fact that Lily had chosen him. Lily smiled up at Sirius, but she felt something was missing. Had she made the right decision?


	16. The Right Choice?

**Chapter Sixteen**

Lily giggled as Sirius kissed her neck softly. It had been almost a week since she had made her decision. Sirius' hands trailed down Lily's naked torso towards the hem of her skirt, she stopped his hands and gently pushed them away. She sat up and leaned against her headboard.

"Is something wrong?" Sirius asked, his handsome face etched with concern. Lily shook her head.

"No, I just don't feel like it right now," Lily stood up and put on her shirt.

"You've been really distant lately," Sirius observed, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Sirius," Lily snapped. After seeing his hurt expression, Lily's voice softened. "I'm sorry Sirius, I didn't mean to snap at you. I've just been a little out of it lately," He put his arm around her waist and pulled her closer. He kissed the top of her red hair as she lay her head on his shoulder. Lily looked up at him from her position. "I'm really tired Sirius, I think I'm going to take a nap. I'll see you in the morning," She pecked him on the lips and started to change her clothes. Sirius got up and left the room, when he was gone, Lily abandoned the task of changing into her pajamas and sprawled out on her bed. For the past six days, Lily had been feeling, empty, like something was missing. She couldn't help but feel like she had made the wrong decision. Many times when she was with Sirius, she felt the urge to say James' name instead of Sirius'. And when she had time to think, the only thing that was on her mind was James. It had become apparent to her in the last six days that James was the one for her, but she had already made her choice. She couldn't change her mind now, not when she had already chosen Sirius. She couldn't hurt him again, although her heart ached for James, Lily still cared for Sirius a great deal and she didn't want to be the cause of another quarrel between the two friends or another heartbreak for him.

**Most likely the shortest thing I've ever written, but its just to get something up and it reveals a lot _and_ it relieves that horrible cliffie. :-D See? Big things come in small packages!**


	17. Peace at Last

**Chapter Seventeen**

Lily, James, Sirius and Remus sat in the Gryffindor common room with their books and parchment spread over a large area. The sound of quills scratching echoed through the room as the quartet worked on their homework.

"Lils, do you have-" Sirius looked up and stopped midsentence to see Lily staring across the table at a certain boy with messy black hair and glasses. Said boy did not notice that he was being stared at, but a certain jealous boyfriend did. At the sound of her name, Lily quickly diverted her attention from James and toward Sirius.

"Did you say something Sirius?"

"No, nothing," He said. Lily smiled at her boyfriend and went back to her homework. Sirius sighed in dispair. Lily had been very distant over the past few weeks. He was hoping it wasn't because of what he thought it was, but if her recent behavior was any clue, his hunch was correct.

00000

Sirius held Lily's gloved hand in his own as they stood down by the quidditch pitch, watching the one on one game between James and Amos Diggory.

Sirius watched Lily as she cheered James on. Her cheeks and nose were red from the cold March air and the smile on her face was absolutely radiant. She slipped her hand out of his and clapped.

"Go James!" She screamed. Just looking at her face then confirmed his fears, Lily was still in love with James and there was nothing he could do about it.

Sirius stopped Lily on their way back up to the school.

"Lily, can we talk?" He asked.

"Sure Sirius, what's up?" Sirius took a deep breath before saying what was on his mind.

"Lils, it couldn't be anymore obvious that you're madly in love with my best friend,"

"Sirius, I-"

"No Lily, don't interrupt me," He said. "I love you Lily, a lot. But you and James, you two were meant to be, and I don't want to be the one to stand in your way. James loves you so much more than I ever could. He has so much to offer that I dont. I want to break up Lily, because James is the one for you."

By this time, Lily's eyes were brimming with tears.

"Sirius, I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything, just go get your man!" Lily gave him a sad smile and planted a platonic kiss on his cheek.

"I will always love you Sirius,"

"Me too," The two friends hugged tightly before Lily ran up to the school to find James.

0000

Lily found James in the head common room, reading a book on broomsticks. He looked up when Lily walked in. She sat next to him on the sofa and removed the book from his hands and placed it on the coffee table. James frowned in confusion.

"Lily what-" He never finished his sentence because Lily's mouth was on his own.

"Sirius gave us his blessing," James eyebrows rose into his hair and Lily nodded to answer his unasked question. James ran his fingers through Lily's auburn locks and kissed her again.

"I love you Lily, so much, and this time I'm playing for keeps."


	18. Thanks

**_I hope that everyone enjoyed _Playing For Keeps_. I already know that I will not be writing a sequel to this so please do not ask. But if you like my work, please check out my other stories. _**

**_I especially want to thank _Greengrl_ for submitting the most reviews with_ Lily and James Love 4 ever_ in second_**


End file.
